Today, I choked on water.

Is it strange that around this period for the past 2 years, something always feels off…? It’s as though I’m reminded that something significant happened during this time, but I can’t put my finger on what it is or what I’m feeling. Of course I only remember when it all began, because it lingers on for a while, and is all too familiar. Perhaps it’s just something about how the air smells, or how the birds chirp, or how the skies are grey that brings me back to a certain time.
(via keturahann)
(Source: extrasad, via keturahann)
Chris Rock in I Think I Love My Wife
(Source: legacysp, via notyourordinarybluesummer)

Watched Cruel Intentions today.
I’m so sorry my dear followers that I have not been posting lately. I’ve been a bit down lately, and am just not inspired enough to twist this feeling into a poem. I’ll try to post something soon.
Dear Old Friend
Spoken Word by Jesse Norton (Me)
(Music - Carnival by Nick Cave from The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford OST)
When I look back
there was more to you -
I am the life you dreamt
You believed
I would not deceive you
treat you right and care for you
you keep dreaming
But you knew of my intent
kissing your cheeks - never caring
When I look back there
was more to you than that.
Still -
I am the one who lies awake at night
thinking of you
The life you dreamt up and gave up
for just another dream
you wrote
my end as easily as you gave me breath.

So! I’ve recently made a new friend. It turns out, he’s 27 and soon-to-be-married!
I honestly thought that he was 22 or something! We facebook-chatted (btw, the new format reminds me of the good ole days of using msn). Anyways, it was such a shock to me, because, well I gotta admit, I was interested! I mean, he’s a really nice person and has a great sense of humour! But anyways, we ended up talking about relationships, and I just am so grateful that I got to hear his story. I mean, I was really beginning to doubt that love could exist equally between two people. I just hear so much about how usually, one person sacrifices more in the relationship/loves the other person more. And it’s just so refreshing to hear that what I was hoping for, does exist!
Nowadays, we’re able to replace things so easily, that it leads us to not truly value/appreciate something. And we’re just so into ourselves, that we do whatever’s easiest for us, and we don’t sacrifice as much for others as we used to anymore. Key word: sacrifice, was what he said. He said that they both sacrificed many things for each other! And that’s what I had recently noticed as well! That people used to give up so much just to be with each other. Like I began watching Sailor Moon again(my hero as a child/due to procrastinating studying for my exams) recently, and I noticed how much Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask sacrificed to be with each other! They would do anything just to be together! But, now, it’s just kind of rare to meet someone who would actually fully trust you and give what you give right back without thinking or hesitation! That’s what I want: that mutuality that we’d always be there for each other no matter what! Unfortunately, living in the city, things are easily replaced, and most people are too into themselves.